There’s little that terrifies me these days with parenting, except one thing…

Letting go of The Paci. (yes it gets capitalized due to its importance)

We were doing really well for a while. I weaned her from using it in the car, and she only wanted it for naps and bedtime. Then we took a few trips out of town and of course I had to give her something for comfort during the long drives. This turned into her begging for it more frequently and demanding to even hold two in her hand at a time.

I started to realize that I was the real problem. At the end of the day, I’m the one in control. Of course I want to be supportive of Eliana’s needs, but that’s just it, she doesn’t NEED a paci. She wants it. It makes her feel good.

Well, brownies make me feel good too, but no, no no…. I do not need those freakin brownies. Even the one’s on the edge. No, I don’t need them and neither do my thighs. Oh, and that homemade apple pie I made the other day….

Since about 9 months Eliana has turned into an incredible sleeper. Three hour naps and then sleeps from 8:00 to 8:30, sometimes even later!  I always said that it was because of the paci. If it fell out of her bed, then she would instantly wake with a screeching yell for me to save the day. We eventually started giving her 3, sometimes 4 at a time. One by each hand, one in the mouth and then one as an emergency.

Pretty cray huh? 

So last week I saw some women tweeting about their fear of getting rid of The Paci. It got me thinking. I am the one who is really in control here. I make this decision. So do I do it now, knowing it will be easier? Or do I wait and have to go through this whole, “Well, there’s a paci fairy….” lie?

I just made up my mind. Snipped the end of the paci. Laid Eliana down for her nap with a snipped paci and an intact paci. She put the snipped one in her mouth, acted confused, and then fell asleep with the good one in her mouth. I felt like it was only fair to introduce it to her before instead of going cold turkey. 

Addictions are real y’all.

So that evening, we did our normal routine, bath, blow-dry hair (yes, I blow-dry her hair. She loves it!), brushed teeth, read a book and then bed time. Typically Eliana starts to ask for her paci when we read. That evening she asked, but I told her that we no longer had paci’s anymore. She wasn’t phased too much and we continued to read through her book. I took her upstairs, laid her in bed with the snipped paci and walked out of her room.

She cried on and off for 20 min. Nothing out of control. Just confused and frustrated. I walked in once, but that only escalated the crying— am I the only parent with a child WHO HATES when you walk in to try to soothe them? My little girl hates it with a passion.  She slept until 8:30 the next morning.

Night 2- cried for 5 min

Night 3- no crying

The real trick was to see how she did when she wasn’t home. She spent the night at my parents Saturday night. Guess what? NO CRYING! Straight to bed at 8:00 and slept until 8:00 the next morning.

I know every kid is different, but I now realize that I was holding onto the paci far tighter than she was. I needed it. I wanted her to remain the little baby that she once was. Letting go of the paci has been far more difficult for me than I ever imagined. 

I guess it’s time to move on kiddo. It was a great ride. The first year and a half.

Here’s to the next thing— POTTY TRAINING!!!!

~K